


How Dean is the Last to Realize Anything

by ShippingAllShips



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5+1, Adam is tune with the angels, Borderline crack, I seriously did not mean to write Kevin/Samandriel, Kevin is a profit of the Lord, Lucifer is a vegitarian, M/M, OOCness, Other, Surprise pairing was a surprise, angel saliva has healing properties, angelic wooing, archangels are kinky, as well as other angelic bodily fluids, at least he's not vegan!, don't read just for destiel or sabriel or the other one, everyone always thinks rape, everyone is alive AU, it just sort of happened, magical/demonic gardens, nobody else is, physical contact is comforting to angels, pinkie promises are sacred, pinning?, the bunker, yes that does mean what you think it means, you will be dissapointed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingAllShips/pseuds/ShippingAllShips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 5+1 on how Dean is the last to realize the relationship going on under his nose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Dean is the Last to Realize Anything

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally the longest fanfic I have ever wrote. Kevin's part was the most fun to write and Dean is really hard to write. Also, I would like to apologize for the tags, I got a little crazy with them.

**1\. Bobby**

 

Not many things could surprise Bobby Singer. However, one of those just happened to be when three men crash land in his living room, naked as the day they were born and covered in a slightly questionable clear liquid.

Of course, things just got more surprising from then on. Turns out the three men were as follows: a crazy ex-archangel, his equally insane older brother, and the Winchester's half-brother. But that was for later, what is important now was that the formers had the latter squished in between them, trying to stand and falling all over each other due to the liquid.

Sam and Dean went A-wall. They began screaming at the two men, who simply blinked at them, and swiftly advancing on them with an angel blade. They responded in time, wings materializing (Lucifer's wings were beautiful, mixed like a sunrise in winter; Michael's were more white, done up in gold and silver) and spreading wide in defense -covering Adam from their view, Bobby noted- and hissing and yelling at them in enochian.

And Bobby, the ever present voice of reason, decided to intervene before someone got hurt or died, seeing as both Dean and (who he learned later to be) Lucifer had murder in their eyes.

“Stop it, ya idjits. There will be no fighting _or_ murder in my house.” he said, stepping in between the brothers and, well, brothers. They all gave pause, Sam and Dean looking almost betrayed and the angels looking confused.

“But,” Dean began, only to be interrupted but one of Michael's wings jerking violently up and down.

Michael pulled it aside, revealing a shell-shocked Adam clutching the delicate feathers, and leaned down towards him. Adam spoke softly, a whisper in a language no one recognized, and Michael nodded.

Michael straightened back up and turned to Bobby. “Adam wishes for a shower to wash the gross placenta stuff off him.” he said, face serious and voice monotonous.

Bobby couldn't help but snort at that and nodded, jerking his head to the stairs. “Second door on the left.”

Michael nodded, watching as Lucifer helped Adam up and walked towards the stairs, Adam secured firmly between them. Lucifer roughly bumped Sam's shoulder on the way by, smirking when he jumped back and Michael rolled his eyes.

Dean made a motion to follow them, but stopped at Bobby's firm glare. “That's it? You're just going to let them wander in and make themselves at home?” Dean asked in disbelief.

Bobby shrugged. “Why not? You two sure did.”

“One of them is the devil! You know, the guy that wore me like a prom dress and challenged his brother to some angelic version of a sibling brawl that would end in an apocalypse!” Sam yelled, bordering on hysterical.

“Really? Huh, was it the one that looked like a younger John?” Bobby said, turning to return to the kitchen for a beer. He felt like he was going to need a few.

“No, I think that's Michael, Dean's angelic dress buyer.” Sam said, crossing his arms and putting on BitchFace#35, aka, don't-change-the-subject. “Plus, they both took turns torturing me and seemed to be having the time of their lives.”

“Don't care. The past is the past. You both did terrible things and it would be borderline hypocritical to hold them for those mistakes.”

“Pretty big mistakes if you ask me.” Dean mumbled, setting the angel blade on the table and retrieving a beer for himself. Upstairs, the water turn on.

“No one did, Smart-ass. And someone clean up those feathers and liquid, I wanna watch the game.”

 

It had been a week since the arrival of their “guests” and said guests had yet to leave their assigned room. The brothers had thrown a bitch fit about Adam sharing a room with those two, but Adam's bitch fit had out done theirs by a mile. So, cage mates became roommates (and the little shit had looked so smug about it too).

It was Bobby's day to deliver lunch to Adam, the only one that seemed to eat, and he raised his hand to knock only to pause. The door was cracked slightly, implying that someone had recently left the room and, dammit, he was curious. Everyone was, wondering what they hell they did in that room all day.

Making sure the coast was clear, he looked in between the crack.

They had been given two beds to please the Winchesters, and it appeared that they had pushed them together, making one large bed in the center. Lucifer was laying center left, Adam tucked closely beside him, hand stroking at the air (Bobby got the feeling he was touching Lucifer’s wings, seeing as they always kept them invisible to humans except for that night), while Lucifer played with his hair and watching him with something akin to love; both whispering softly amongst themselves.

Bobby turned to leave, only to run right into Michael. He stared at Bobby with an unreadable expression, bag of chips in one hand and soda in the other.

That explained where all the junk food was going, Bobby thought, making a note to tell the boys to add more food to the plate.

Michael blinked, eyes trailing to the cracked door and back to Bobby. His eyes held a challenge, like he was expecting to be reprimanded and was planning on fighting back.

Bobby simply held the plate out to him, watching as he took it with caution. “So, it's both of you and him?” he asked, receiving a hesitant nod. “Is it forced?” A rather violent head shake and a flash of anger.

Bobby took a deep breath. “Good, that's good. You're all grown, consenting adults, and nothing I say is gonna stop you, so,” He clasped his hand on Michael's shoulder, amused by how he tensed. “I wish you the best.”

He began to head back down stairs, smiling slightly when he heard a soft, “Thanks.” followed by a door shutting.

 

**2\. Sam**

 

It had been over a month since they gained three extra companions and Sam was slowly feeling more at ease and less guilty with each passing day.

After the second week, they were eating meals with the others and that's when everyone saw the similarities between vessel and angel. Lucifer seemed to enjoy, as Dean had so lovingly referred to it, rabbit food, preferring salads and fruits over actual meat. Michael, on the other hand, rarely touched anything leafy or green, unless it was grapes (why grapes, no one really knows). Adam was not picky, eating anything placed before him or that the picky angels didn't want with vigor.

Week three entitled them actually spending time with the others, though they mainly sat on the couch in silence or sulk around in Bobby's library. There was something disturbing about it; Michael and Lucifer were practically dolls, sitting ramrod straight not breathing or blinking for hours on end as they watched the TV, and Adam squished between, leaning heavily on one or both of them for support and obviously uncomfortable.

Even a few day ago, when Sam had walked in on Lucifer perched on the table eating those disgusting kale chips he had demanded Sam buy on the last food run and Adam sitting across from him reading _Lord of the Flies_ , he felt like he should feel some form of awkwardness. But he had simply walked past the devil, threw a casual greeting to Adam (which was returned much softer), grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and left.

That was another thing that struck Sam as odd. Michael and Lucifer acted almost like body guards to Adam, one always near or not far from him. It was near impossible to talk to Adam alone; one or both were always near him, touching him, talking to him, staring at him. Sam had even seen them give Adam light pecks on the forehead or cheek or nose, which always made Adam laugh and shove them away.

And here he was, alone in the kitchen with Adam, who was eating from the bag of chips Michael had given him “for safe keeping”. But it was what had transferred beforehand that he was still trying to wrap his head around.

Michael and Lucifer had been present when he had come in, both having a rather admit discussion about the usefulness of wasps, Michael brandishing a potato chip threateningly at his brother who was rolling his eyes at him, when Adam spoke up.

“I really want Mcdonalds.” he said, turning the pages in a medical book that Sam was sure they didn't have to begin with. “Like twenty Big Macs and a ton of fries.”

“You'll go into cardiac arrest if you eat all that.” Lucifer said, perking up when he heard the mention of French fries and beginning to stand. They were one of humanities “better creations” he had said one night, shoving a handful into his mouth and making a huge show of chewing. Michael and Sam had been disgusted. “Where's the nearest Mcdonalds?”

“Three miles down south.” Michael said, standing as well. He slid his bag across to Adam, who blinked at it. “Watch this, love.” He quickly pecked Adams lips, vanishing with the sound of falling feathers.

“Show off.” Lucifer said, giving Adam more than a light peck on the lips. After a moment, he pulled back and poked Adam's nose. “Be back in a moment, my heart.” He, too, vanished with the sound of feathers.

Adam rolled his eyes and placed his book down, eating from the bag while Sam stood dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen.

“You-they just-are you guys-” Sam said, trying to determine if those kisses were platonic or not. Lucifer's certainly didn't look it.

“Come on, Samantha, you're supposed to be the smart one.” Adam said, placing the bag down. “What do you think?”

Sam was speechless, choosing to ignore the jab for now. “Is it consensual? They're not forcing themselves on you, are they?”

Adam snorted, picking back up his book. “Funny, Michael said Bobby asked him the same thing. Why do people always jump to that conclusion?”

Sam employed BitchFace#22, aka, really?!!? “Well, it couldn't possibly be the fact that we were thrown into a cage with them and they tortured us, could it?”

“Sarcasm is unbecoming of you.” Adam stated. “Besides, I wasn't exactly tortured. Tortured with boredom, maybe, but I never experienced what you did. Lucifer was only interested in you and Michael, and Michael took all his anger out on Lucifer.

“And when you left, the fight just seemed to leave Lucifer. It was kinda sad; he would prowl or fly around like, well, a caged animal. And sometimes he would yell or scream or start ripping at his own wings. I think he was lonely without you; Michael had me for company and he was all alone.

“And one day,” Adam shrugged, not meeting Sam's eyes. “I got tired of watching him, so I went up to him and I talked to him. And I guess I fell in love, once I got past the whole I-am-the-devil deal. And I suppose it's only natural that Michael would be attracted to me in some way.”

Sam was silent for a few minutes, mulling over the information while Adam continued to read his book.

“So, you love them?” Sam asked. The guilt that had been eating its way through his heart about leaving Adam alone with two crazy archangels was slowly being put to ease with each passing word.

Adam sighed, closing his book again. “I do. All those decades of sitting and talking and cuddling and sex, it was nice. Plus, I'm like some weird buffer for them; they fight way less when I'm near.”

Sam had to chuckle at that. “Yeah, I guess so. They haven't tried to kick-start the apocalypse again, so that's good.” Sam paused. “I'm just...”

“Having a hard time swallowing it?” Adam asked, receiving a nod. “Yeah, I expected that. Honestly, I expected a much bigger freak out. I can't wait for Dean to find out.”

Sam nodded in agreement. Dean was still against the two archangels being here; imagine what he would do when he found out that they were not only sleeping in the same room as, but also doing the horizontal tango with Adam.

A comfortable silence settled between them when a thought suddenly hit Sam and he asked, “Hey, you aren't really planning on eating all that Mcdonalds, are you?”

“Nah, I just asked for so much so they would get it.” Adam said, opening his book for the third time. “If I don't say to get you guys anything, they won't. Ya know, all hyper focused on me and stuff. The good news is we won't have to cook for a few days.”

Sam had to smile at that. “Clever.”

 

**3\. Castiel**

 

One month, two weeks, three days, seventeen hours, twenty minutes and fifty-six seconds it had been since Adam, Lucifer and Michael had crashed through the roof of Bobby's house.

Dean had not stopped complaining about it, and Castiel was at a loss on how to make it better. Sam and Bobby had told him to ignore Dean, that he was simply being an ass, but Castiel could not stand to see someone he adored in such anguish.

He had decided on what had to be done. It was simple; get Adam alone and do a quick check of his mental and physical being. It would allow him to tell Dean, in complete confidence, that Adam was well.

This was, however, much easier in theory. Adam, during the one month, two weeks, three days, seventeen hours, twenty minutes and fifty-six, was almost never without one of the archangels near him. It was grounds for suspicion; after all, Dean had said that people often use intimidation as a way of silencing people. And, even in their earthly vessels, Lucifer and Michael were still very intimidating.

So, putting on his bravest face and squaring his shoulders, Castiel walked into the living room. Sam and Dean were currently on a hunt in Florida, something about a raging Kelpie, and Bobby was manning the phone in case someone called about the legibility of their badges, leaving Adam, Michael and Lucifer alone.

When he walked in, Michael was sitting on the corner of the couch, staring intensely at the television, which played some strange cartoon about a blue cat creature and a talking fish with legs. Adam had his head on his lap, reading a book titled _Hunger Games._ Lucifer sat at their feet, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper with a red crayon and mumbling profanities, one arm hooked around Michael's leg.

Adam lowered the book, shock showing on his face as he gazed at Castiel. “Oh, hello Cas. Dean isn't here right now. He's hunting something in Florida. What was it? A kale?”

Castiel furrowed his brow, frowning. Why did everyone always assume he was looking for Dean? “I know where Dean is Adam. I am not here to see him.”

“Oh.” Adam said, sitting up and drawing his legs up to him. He looked slightly uncomfortable, placing the book was placed on Michael's lap. “Anything I can help you with?"

Castiel knew Adam was still uncomfortable around him and other angels, but he had to do this for Dean. “I was hoping that you could help me reassure Dean of something.” he said, not meeting Adam's eyes.

Adam tensed at that. “What kind of help?” he demanded, sitting up straighter on the couch.

“Yes, little Cassie, what kind of help could our little Adam offer you?” Lucifer asked, tilting his head and stroking his hand up and down Michael's calf. His blue eyes never strayed from Castiel's face; he got the impression that Lucifer was looking directly into his grace and soul, already knowing what he was going to ask and just wanted to watch him squirm.

It was working.

“I was hoping that you would, ah, let me asses your being?” Castiel asked, sounding more like a question than a statement.

Adam stiffened, eyes darting to look at Lucifer. “Asses? Asses me how?” He had a feeling he already knew what that meant, and he didn't like that idea one bit.

“It means,” Lucifer said, standing up and invisible wings spreading wide in defense. Humans may not be able to see their wings, but angels still could. And it was rather terrifying, six enormous (even by angel standard) wings arcing high in defense and grace slowly seeping into them, making them glow slightly. “That he wants to check your mind to see if it has been tampered with. Look through your memories to see if you have been treated well. That sort of nonsense.”

Adam looked angry, lips pursed and brow furrowing. It was rather cute, Castiel thought fleetingly. It wasn't the worst thing anyone could see before they died, since he had a feeling he was going to soon, given the look on Lucifer's face. Castiel resisted the urge to fly away while he still had the wings to do so.

Michael turned away from the TV then. He leaned down to speak in Adam's ear. “It won't hurt.” he whispered, hand rubbing up and down Adam's arm in comfort. “Just a quick check, like that eye exam you gave Lucy a few days ago. Nothing damaged or changed.”

Adam seemed to relax and leaned back on Michael, obviously in thought. After a moment, he spoke. “You'll only view memories, right? No snooping around and rewiring anything?”

“No.” was the simply reply.

Adam took a deep breath. “All right. What do I have to do?”

“Just look into his eyes.” Michael instructed. Adam nodded, eyes locking with Castiel's.

Castiel could feel the weight of the archangel's stares as he allowed his grace to enter Adam's mind, meeting little resistance.

Memories began flying by in rapid sessions. In the kitchen with his mother, cooking pancakes. John taking him to a baseball game. Getting his first car. Coming home to find his mother had been eaten and he shortly followed. Getting resurrected and falling into the pit. DarknessscreamingbloodbrightbrightbrightBRIGHT. Nothing. Being wrapped in warmth and love by a bright bird. A littler brighter bird tearing itself to shreds, beautiful feathers flying everywhere. Help the littler brighter bird and it can be nice. More warmth and caring and LOVE and

_“I think I love you.” was whispered softly one night, echoing around in the stillness of the cage. There was a shift in the too many wings, too many limbs wrapping around and too many legs tangling. “We think we love you too.” was the echoed response from the two bright birds._

Castiel jerked out of the memories, feeling disoriented and slightly embarrassed. That last memory was obviously private, not meant to be seen by anyone. Though, it did explain a lot.

“Are you satisfied, little brother?” Lucifer asked, bringing Castiel out of his stupor.

“Ah, um.” he cleared his throat. “Yes, thank you. I can assure Dean that Adam is most taken care of.” He paused. “I shall not inform Dean of your, ah, _relations_ until you see fit to do so. I heard that humans get angry when they are, um, outed.”

 

**4\. Gabriel**

 

“Do you ever think that they're weirdly close? Like, they never leave him alone?” Dean commented to Sam, watching as Adam tried (and failed) to teach Michael how to use the Wii while Lucifer accidently introduced his remote to the wall.

Gabriel paused halfway through his éclair, thinking over what Dean had just said. It was very true. Three months since their freedom, and Michael and Lucifer still clung to Adam like he was the reason the sun rose up and set each day.

Of course, there was a logical explanation for this. Logical, but not practical. Lucifer hated humans and Michael would never stoop so low as to _woo_ a human.

But, the signs were all there. The way they puffed up a little when Adam walked by, invisible wings stretching wide and grace flaring, a show of both strength and power. The way they were trying to one-up each other over the simplest things (Adam now had a rather impressive stuffed animal collection due to Michael and an amazingly magical garden out back thanks to Lucifer). The constant need to preen and touch Adam, make him as happy as they could, offer comfort and love and protection. And the unblinking stare they gave Adam when he..well...did anything.

Adam probably didn't know that they were doing just that. Hell, Sam hadn't realized he was doing the exact same thing (though with _way_ less unblinking stares, he hadn't quite reached that point yet) and Cas for Dean (Cas probably didn't realize it either, no one had ever given him _The Talk_ and this sort of thing was instinctual) _._ Though, it did often come off as being _very_ friendly, so the Winchester's chalked it up as angel's not understanding humanity.

And that royally sucked balls. I mean, you try to properly court someone and they just blow you off and then complain about you destroying the entire nest of vampires because _that's cheating Gabriel we can't just use you on ever hu_ -

He was getting off topic.

He had stewed over this thought for about a week before deciding to do anything about it. He would simply ask about the nature of their relationship. Asking typically got people farther than simply assuming, seeing as his brothers were rather higher up than him on the hierarchy. If they weren't, then Gabriel would be embarrassed, and if they were...

Gabriel found them in Lucifer's magical garden. Bobby had given up trying to destroy it weeks ago, seeing as that only made it grow back with flourish (he also claimed that he had somehow angered the garden and that it was out to get him, and, knowing Lucifer, that was probably true).

Michael was propped up against a tree, with Adam laying between his outstretched legs, _City of Glass_ secured in one hand. They looked so at ease; Michael's chin propped up on Adam's and arms loosely around his waist, his eyes closed and wings drooping in relaxation, one of Adam's hands resting against his wrists. Occasionally, Adam would tap his finger against Michael's and he would open his eyes, glancing at the book before placing a kiss on Adam's lips and closing his eyes again.

There wasn't a doubt in Gabriel's mind that they were in a relationship. He stood there for a while, observing the couple, seething in jealousy and envy when someone grabbed his shoulder.

He let out a yelp of surprise and jerked, twirling around and landing hard on his butt. He heard laughter and looked up, seeing Lucifer looking at him in obvious amusement.

Gabriel, still uncomfortable around his older brother with the whole tried-to-murder-you thing, stood up quickly and moved a distance away. Lucifer, if not for the hurt that flashed in his eyes, seemed amused.

“They're cute together, don't you think?” Lucifer asked, looking over at Michael and Adam.

“Uh, yeah. So cute.” he said, glancing at them as well. They appeared to be oblivious to what had just happened, Michael still resting and Adam absently stroking at one of Michael's wings with his free hand. Gabriel was confused by the action, seeing as they usually kept their wings invisible to humans or tucked away in a pocket dimension.

“Adam possess a unique ability.” Lucifer said, seeing the confusion on Gabriel's face. “Mikey first noticed it when he was trying to get him to be his vessel. Adam looked straight at him when he was in his true form and didn’t even flinch.” Lucifer gave a small smile. “Truly a remarkable feat for a human. I first noticed in the cage when I called Mikey a 'bed wetting thumb sucker' in Enochian and Adam asked me if that was true.” Lucifer winked at him. “He still is, at least on the thumb sucking part. He has yet to wet our bed.”

Gabriel stared at him incredulously, trying to process what he had heard. “So, Adam can see and understand us?”

“Yep.” Lucifer said, looking at the ground beside him. A bud sprouted up, rapidly growing in size to become a sapling.

“And you all share a bed?” Gabriel asked, finally processing the last part of his monologue. Well, that would explain their action. Even after claiming a mate, courting doesn't end there. If anything, the amount of gifts and attention increase tenfold.

“Yes, Gabriel, we are _all_ together.” Lucifer said, answering the unasked question. He held out his hand as sapling grew into a tree and produced flowers. One of them bloomed and transformed into an apple. It dropped onto his hand when it was ripe and he offered it to Gabriel. “Partake of the fruit?”

Gabriel couldn't help the snort he let out at the reference. “Don't you think you're a little old for _Adventure Time_?”

Lucifer let out a small laugh, taking a bite of the apple. “That wasn't what I was doing, but don't you think _you're_ a little old for that show?”

“Age is but a number.” he replied, feeling a little more at ease with his brother.

Lucifer hummed in agreement, looking over at his two lovers. Michael's eyes were open and he was softly speaking to Adam, rubbing circles on the exposed skin of his hip.

“He thinks your true form is beautiful.” Lucifer said after a few minutes, tossing the apple core off to the side. It immediately sunk into the soil when it landed and Gabriel felt a stab of pity for Bobby. “And he wants you to not give up on Sam, he'll eventually come around.”

Gabriel smiled slightly when Adam looked over at him, giving him a small wave. “Yeah, I don't think I will.”

 

**5\. Kevin**

 

Kevin was a profit. A profit of the lord. And as being a profit of the lord, that entitled him to visions and massive headaches. Mainly the headaches though. Massive headaches that were caused by the visions.

The visions were actual the main cause of the current problems in Kevin’s life. The problem of never being able to look Adam (or the two archangels for that matter) in the eye without remembering a vision he had. Or the fact that Adam enjoyed calling the two angels “Daddy” when they were alone and how they seemed to love it even more. And yeah, he wasn’t touching _that_ issue with a thirty foot pole.

So Kevin sat hunched over another Angelic script in the bunker (they had to relocate after Balthazar and Samandriel crash landed in Bobby’s front yard, making the house rather cramped with five grown men, three archangels and three lesser angels. Luckily, Bobby had pointed them in the direction of the Men of Letter’s bunker then promptly kicked everyone out of his house), trying to translate it even though they had at least six beings willing to translate it (Balthazar was out of the question) and not definitely not thinking about Lucifer’s strange obsession with being treated like a worthless piece of trash in bed.

He had almost gotten through one line of text when a knock sounded on his bedroom door (he preferred researching in his room, less likely chance of someone barging in). “Come in.” he called, sighing as he closed the book of text. He wasn’t getting anywhere tonight, not with all the unwanted gay porn filling his head-not that there was anything wrong with being gay, it’s just that one gets tired of seeing it twelve times a day.

The door opened softly and Kevin glanced up to see Samandriel standing in the door, nervously playing with the hem of Alfie’s Weiney Hut uniform. Serious, he needed to get some new clothes.

“Uh, Dean told Gabriel, who told Balthazar, who told me, to tell you that dinner was ready.” He said, looking anywhere but at Kevin.

Kevin glanced at the clock, seeing the red letter stating it was nearly eight and nodded, climbing out of his bed. He quickly shimmied into a pair of pants that were laying on the floor and dug a t-shirt out of his closet. He had long since learned that wearing only boxers to dinner was “inappropriate” and “you’re ruining Christmas dinner, Kev”.

He turned back to the blushing angel in his doorway, throwing his arm around Samandriel’s shoulders and beginning to guide him to the kitchen. It was a rather uneventful walk, Samandriel pressing closer to him as they entered the dining area and taking their usual seats. Dean beside Cas (as usual), Kevin in between him and Sam, and then Gabriel (upon Gabe’s insistence, or demands really, Kevin was sure he had a thing for Sam) on one side of the table; Balthazar across from Dean (just for the sole purpose of kicking him during dinner), Michael beside him (to stop Balthazar when Dean looked murderous) with Adam squished between him and Lucifer, and little Samandriel sitting across from Gabe (he seemed to take Gabriel’s game of footsies the best out of everyone and didn’t seem to mind sitting across from the devil) on the other side. The head and bottom of the table were left empty, reserved for Bobby or Garth or Charlie whenever they visit (or the occasional angel in need of Michael’s assistance and gets roped into dinner as well).

Which meant Kevin got to sit across from the one person he could barely keep eye contact with and try to have a civil conversation without giving away the fact he basically saw them fucking every night. As you could guess, Kevin mainly kept his head down and listened to the conversations around him.

Tonight’s dinner was spaghetti and salad with garlic bread (Dean was an excellent cook when he had the time and resources) and beer to drink (Gabriel and Samandriel both had chocolate milk, Gabriel because he was Gabriel and Samandriel because his vessel had expressed disdain for beer and he liked to keep his vessel as pleased as possible, and Balthazar had wine (the French bastard)). And the conversations.

“I still think nightlights would be appropriate,” Sam said, twirling some noodles onto his fork. “I keep waking up with Gabriel in my bed. He keeps claiming it’s because he’s scared of the dark.”

“Well, Father did say ‘Let there be light’ for a reason.” Lucifer said, stabbing a leaf of his salad and eying it critically before putting it in his mouth; he had been doing this for every piece. Adam had his plate of spaghetti in front of him, shoveling the meatballs onto Michaels plate, which was more meat than noodles at this point (seriously, the devil was a vegetarian, Kevin still found that hard to wrap his head around).

Dean choked on his beer. “Wait, really? That’s the reason for the sun? Because Gabriel is scared of the dark?” he asked incredulously, looking at Castiel for confirmation.

“Well, I’m scared of the dark, too.” Samandriel piped up, looking a little sheepish as he spoke. “I think all angels are scared of the dark.” He looked at Michael in awe, the kind you get from being so close to your favorite celebrity (but this was the usual look he had around the archangels and Castiel) who simply nodded in agreement.

“Yes. All but Raphael and I are terrified of the dark.” He said, skewering three meatballs at once and shoving them in his mouth. “It is quite funny; I used to wake up to find Lucifer clinging to my wings as though he was a mere fledgling.” Michael smiled fondly at the memory, taking a swallow of his beer.

Kevin don’t know what possessed him at that moment, maybe the lack of sleep or the chronic headaches, but he mumbled out a quiet, “Like him and Adam don’t still do that.”

Adam and Sam both choked on their drinks while Gabriel started giggling into his hand. Even Cas had cracked a small smile, though his was more embarrassed then anything, while Balthazar was grinning wolfishly at him. Alfie was staring at him in horror while Dean simply looked confused. Michael was giving him a death glare, gently patting Adam’s back to subdue the coughing, while Lucifer looked rather embarrassed, sinking lowly into his chair.

“That is _not_ something you say in polite company, Profit.” Michael hissed, gently rubbing Adam’s back in comfort. Oh, back to Profit. He must have pissed him off, but Kevin could not figure out why, until realization hit him like a brick to the face.

Wings were a very private thing for angels, even if it was something as simple as grooming them or petting them. Sure, they were on display for all to see most of the time, but that was it. Just looking, no touching. Letting someone touch your wings was a very intimate thing, and not something you mentioned around anyone, ever.

“What? What did he say?” Dean demanded, looking rather put-out for not hearing the joke. He looked at Sam, who simply shook his head, continuing to cough. Gabriel patted him lightly on the back, hand lingering a little longer than it should have (really, he was _not_ going to think about _that_ ).

“Uh, it was nothing. Just an inside joke. Ya know, profit and all that jazz.” Kevin said, quickly shoving a piece of garlic bread in his own mouth before he let anything else slip. Well, at least they knew that he knew. Maybe they would tone it down a bit.

(They didn’t. If anything, the vision increased tenfold and he had a feeling they were doing it on purpose. At least Samandriel would bring him hot chocolate and aspirin and listen to him complain about all the sex. And the choking, don’t even get him started on the choking.)

 

**+1 Dean**

 

“Shit, shit, shit! Not good, not good, not good.” Dean cursed, pressing his foot down harder on the pedal as Adam gave a wet cough, blood splattering onto his hand and dripping a little on the seat. If he wasn’t in such deep shit, he would have told him to watch where he was bleeding.

It had been a routine hunt, a poltergeist terrorizing a family in their new home. A quick salt and burn. Which was why no one had thought much about letting Adam tag along, to “learn the family trade” and other bullshit like that. And, as the Winchester rules-of-luck #33 dictates, it’s never what it’s supposed to be. It was actually a demon, still vessel-less and seeming to prefer that way. It was the worst fight ever, the black smoke that made up the demon easily avoiding capture and mainly toying with them, pining them to the wall when it had grown bored.

It had been in the middle of a rant of how it would be the first to “best the Winchesters” when a heavy amount of salt was tossed at it. Sam and Dean’s eyes had widened when the smoke turned towards Adam, who looked smugger than he should have at that moment. The demons considered him for a moment before lashing out, sending Adam flying into a book case. A loud crunch was heard and Adam inhaled sharply, hand resting on the lower part of his ribcage.

The demon had seemed pleased for less than two seconds before it burst into flames, wailing and moving sporadically, begging something that sounded like “Please, Master, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t know!”

Which brings us back to the current situation. The fall into the book case had definitely done some damage; at least three broken ribs and a punctured lung worth’s of damage, plus some minor bruising. Of course, a punctured lung was bad enough on its own, not being able to go to the hospital for treatment only made it worse. They were only roughly three minutes away from the bunker at the speed Dean was driving, and he prayed to anything that would listen that neither he nor Sam were smitted on sight by two pissed archangels.

Before the hunt, Michael and Lucifer had pulled the older Winchester’s aside and described in vivid detail what would happen to both their bodies and souls if any harm befell their _precious Adam_ , uncaring that they were their true vessels. Dean had laughed it off while Sam had nodded earnestly, promising to keep Adam as safe as possible. Hell, Lucifer wouldn’t let them leave until they pinkie promised. Because apparently pinkie promises were very sacred in heaven.

“Well this is just fucking peachy.” Adam gargled out, blood dripping out of his mouth and leaning against Sam as they pulled in front of the bunker. Dean threw it in park and turned the Impala off before rushing out to open the door for them.

Sam quickly –and gently- helped Adam out of the back, practically carrying him into the bunker and gently placing him on the table in the kitchen. He muttered an excuse about the bathroom and took off down the hall.

Castiel was the first to arrive, and his eyes widened when he got a good look at Adam; slightly ripped clothes, blood mixed with spit dribbling down his chin, tightly gripping his ribcage with his eyes closed.

“Don’t put pressure on it, you’ll make it worse.” Dean said, forcefully pulling Adam’s arms from around him. Adam hissed at the treatment, glaring daggers at Dean. “I thought you went to college for nursing.”

“It makes it hurt less.” Adam hissed, a bit of blood landing on Dean’s face. He casually wiped it off, glancing at Cas for the first time.

“Do you think you can work your mojo on him?”

Cas shook his head, looking nervous at the suggestion. “I cannot. It would, uh, cause some conflict with-” Cas broke off, looking uncomfortably between Adam and Dean. “I would get in great trouble with Michael and Lucifer if I were to try and heal your brother without their expressed permission.”

“Why? You know what, never mind. Do you think one of the other winged dicks could do it?” Dean asked, hopeful that they wouldn’t have to call the archangels down from whatever they were doing. He wasn’t afraid of dying, he had done it plenty of times, but coming back was always a bitch.

Cas looked more uncomfortable when he spoke again, “No, no angel or demon is allowed to touch your brother without expressed permission from either Lucifer or Michael. They will have to heal him, or no one will heal him.”

“Well, where are those assholes then?” Dean demanded, hearing the sound of feathers as the words escaped his mouth. He turned around, spotting both Lucifer and Michael moving towards Adam. Lucifer was glaring at him, a look of betrayal on his face, while Michael was carefully removing Adam’s shirt to assess the damage.

“Honestly, it’s not that bad.” Adam wheezed out, flinching when one of Michael’s fingers grazed his ribs. Michael snorted at that, looking back at his brother. A silent conversation went on between them before Lucifer stepped forward, gently cupping Adam’s jaw and bringing their lips together.

Dean felt anger raise in him at the sight, face turning an unhealthy shade of purple when Michael lifted Adam’s arm and licked one of the bruises. His hand went to the gun at his side, ready to shot the winged bastards for taking advantage of his brother, when Cas grabbed his arm and forcefully dragged him out of the room.

“What the hell, Cas?” he yelled when they reached the library, yanking his arm out of the angel’s grip. Kevin and Alfie looked up from where they were seated in the corner then quickly looked down, gathering up the scroll they were translating and leaving the room.

“Dean, you need to calm down.” Cas said calmly, reaching out to touch Dean’s shoulder. Dean jerked away, not noticing the hurt that flickered across Cas’s face.

“Calm down? You want me to calm down when those two dicks are- are _molesting_ my brother in front of me?” Dean practically screamed, voice going a little shrill at the end.

Cas sighed deeply, steeling his nerves and hoping that Adam would forgive him for what he was about to say. “Yes, Dean, be calm. There is no molesting going on.”

“Cas, I’m not blind. I know what I saw.” He said, fingers twitching for his angel blade (he always carried one now, what with so many of them living with him and you never know when you’ll need to use it).

“Well, it is very hard to molest someone who likes it.” Cas said bluntly, a blush slowly creeping onto his cheeks and his eyes planted firmly on the ground.

Dean would have thought the action was cute (not that he would ever admit it) had he not been stuck on what Cas had said. “L-likes it? Why would he like _that_?”

Cas’s blush got darker and he managed to mutter out, “Because one typically likes the one you are mated to.”

Dean felt his brain short circuit. “M-mated?” he squawked, mind going into overdrive.

A lot more things from the past months suddenly made sense. Their insistence on sleeping in the same room (Dean had put a stop to that when they entered the bunker, seeing as there were plenty of rooms, but they still insisted on sleeping in the same corridor (they probably still shared a bed anyway)), sitting unreasonably close to each other on the couch, the hand holding and cheek kissing-

That one really should have been a dead give-away, but Dean knew that Cas still struggled with the basics of humanity and often found their hands intertwined when no one was around (Cas said physical contact was comforting to angels and the others had agreed) or his constant disregard for personal space.

There was a good five minutes of silence as Dean reviewed the information, Cas growing steadily uncomfortable with each passing minute, before Dean let out a sigh.

“Well, it can’t be helped.” He said, causing Cas to tilt his head in confusion.

“You’re okay with it?” he asked, honestly confused. He, like everyone else, had expected Dean to have some kind of fit (there was even a pool going on how he would do it. Alfie, the only one to say he was going to be okay with it, was going to be a very rich angel).

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “We live in a crazy world, Cas. Any day could be our last, and when you find love, no matter who it’s with, you kinda gotta grab them and never let them go. God, that was such a chic-flic thing to say.”

Cas, however, beamed at him. “That was a very sweet thing to say. I’m sure they’ll be glad to know that you accept them.”

Dean grunted when Cas enveloped him in a hug, gently bringing an arm up arm to wrap around his waist and the other to pat his back. “Yeah, yeah. No chick-flic moments. Though, I do have one question.”

“Yes?” Cas asked, squeezing Dean’s shoulders a little tighter and burying his face in his neck.

“Is there any particular reason why they started making out with him instead of healing when he’s seriously injured?”

(Dean later found out during dinner that angel saliva has many healing properties and ingesting it would be the fasted and most successful way to heal damaged organs. Michael had cheerfully explained this while Adam just looked mortified, sliding lower in his seat and Lucifer was chuckling (they were honestly just happy he was taking it so well). Of course, Kevin had piped in that _all_ angelic bodily fluids had healing properties and Adam had turned a rather unhealthy shade of red before promptly leaving the room.)


End file.
